A Mother’s Quest for Sanity and Purpose

I have been a mum for just over six years now. It has defined and consumed my life; my entire existence revolving around my son and daughter. In 2015 I began to ask the question, If my life is made so much richer by being a mother, then what is this hollow void that still resides in me? I realised, over the course of last year, that I had lost all sense of who I was, in the effort to be a selfless and damn right excellent mother.

Who am I? I am a mother, and that will always be my most cherished role. But I am also an individual. I am also a creative spirit. I am also an artist and a writer. I am also a deep, analytical, overly emotional, playful, cheeky woman. Somehow, those aspects of me have been lost, or minimalised.

2016 is the year I take them back. This year is the year I explore and redefine myself. I will acknowledge and confront the demons waiting dormant in my heart, and embrace the light in my soul. And in so doing, I will do my kids the greatest service possible – providing them with the fullest, happiest, and most honest version of their mother.

The journey has begun …

This blog (such a hideous word, they should call it something else!) will be a collective assortment of musings on the daily triumphs and trials of motherhood, insights into my struggle with emotions and mental stability, and a testament to my quest to rediscover myself and find my purpose in this world.






6 thoughts on “A Mother’s Quest for Sanity and Purpose”

  1. Great post. Good for you for recognizing the loss of self and beginning this new journey. So many people aren’t able to recognize that loss because of the fog of mental illness, it took me a very, very long time to see my loss of self. It’s great that you are sharing the journey and I’m sure it will help to inspire others. I wish you all the best!


  2. becko, i am someone who had for a long time thought motherhood is a waste of everyone’s time and life a hell into which new members shouldn’t be brought. However, this perception is slowly changing, thanks to my coming across parent-child relationships which are close, supportive and joyous and also to my finding a happier life with my husband. However, some of the old worries remain – (and ur an ideal person to put this question to, because u address this right at the beginning of ur post) will i lose my identity and time to my child? will i hence resent him/her hence? what about the sheer physical effort of it all?

    given these concerns, should i go ahead and become a mother, or no? what do u think?

    thank you. 🙂


    1. I think you should definately become a mother, but when you are ready. Yes its the hardest work youl ever do, but it is also the most rewarding. I hold not on ounce of resentment towards my kids i am blessed and so lucky and they make my life so much richer. Yes you lose some of your identity when you become a mother because that role is consuming. But you can control how much you lose – i lost it without even realising it. And now im aware i am regaining it back, because i want to model to my kids what a whole and fulfilled person is like. Being a mother is the greatest thing i will ever do, it is my most important and priviledged role, but it is not the only thing that defines me, and it wont you either unless you let it. I hope this helps a bit x

      Liked by 1 person

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